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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26883436">Crossroads</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostFalcon/pseuds/GhostFalcon'>GhostFalcon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Nothing But Star Wars [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Love Confessions, Meditation, Pre-Canon, Questing the Code, The year on the run, Tough Decisions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:53:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,415</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26883436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostFalcon/pseuds/GhostFalcon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Satine still does not say the word, but Obi-Wan Kenobi still considers the diverging roads drawn out for him through the force: one of love and one of duty, and ponders their merit to the future.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Nothing But Star Wars [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/371348</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Crossroads</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Not me coming out with yet another Obitine oneshot....</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sun glittered through the multicolored stained glass windows, creating long rainbow patterns that danced across the marble floor with heated consistency. There was no clock in the master bedroom, as strange as that may be, but Obi-Wan knew from the rising positioning of these reflections that mid-morning was approaching and as was the remainder of his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It sounded dramatic, but after months of denial following a few months of repressing that truth, but there were two diverging paths for Obi-Wan Kenobi. There was the path that was sculpted for him ever since he was recruited on the planet Stewjon at age 3. On it, he would become a Jedi knight and later a master, with time, patience, and training. He’d hope to train a padawan of his own someday and continue to serve and protect the galaxy. There was also the matter that he’d grown up a Jedi and knew nothing else but pushing towards that goal. He wanted to see the entire galaxy and do so along with his friends and family, who weren’t related to him by blood, but by purpose and destiny. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was an honorable path and consisted of everything he ever knew and loved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft snuffle startled him from his sleepless reverie. He glanced down to where Satine still lay with her head on his bare chest, fingers trailing aimlessly, caught somewhere between reality and dream. The bed beneath them was larger than he’d ever seen and significantly softer than anything they’d slept on over the past year, but still she curled against his side- even if the time to preserve warmth or ensure safety was over. However, Obi-Wan would never complain about being close to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Jedi path contained </span>
  <em>
    <span>almost</span>
  </em>
  <span> everything he ever knew and loved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The second path, at first, was not as clear as the other. He knew now with certainty that this was not because it was deemed less than in the grand scope of the force, but because it was one he had to open himself up to understanding. In his time with Satine, he’d discovered parts of himself that he never believed to exist. She evoked a range of emotions that he otherwise never would have experienced simply by her very existence. The primary facet of course being love, which he’d all but said to her the previous night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d shown her rather than spoke of his love, as the final tennant of his code forbade it. That was not to say that the Jedi council would </span>
  <em>
    <span>approve</span>
  </em>
  <span> of the means at which he’d shown it, but he was resolute in his decision the moment they left her coronation banquet together. She’d been sure to ask him in between tangled silk sheets and seering kisses if what they were doing was okay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d kissed in secret plenty of times during their year together. Most were chaste and quick, but others did drift well beyond the edges of propriety, but Obi-Wan (despite a panging sense of want that he’d never experienced before) never allowed them to go as far as he’d wanted because of the threat that always loomed around the corner. Even still, Satine never pushed. For as much as she questioned and debated the Jedi’s ideals and ethics, she always acknowledged their importance to Obi-Wan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something about her consideration and respect to his code only kindled the fire brighter within him and he’d answered with the only declaration he could give in clear conscience:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Tonight, I’m yours.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As someone who’d always been strongly encouraged against forming attachments and had been warned of the lustful temptations that could plague him in his youth, Obi-Wan expected to feel some level of guilt after his dalliance with the Duchess. Even after their glazed skin cooled from the embers of passion and Satine, herself, drifted into a peaceful sleep, he could only find contentment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feared this second path was one fully of self-fulfilled desire- that he would be ignoring a greater duty to the galaxy. Qui-Gon, while not privy to the more intimate details of his evolved relationship outside of the Jedi code, had still sensed his troubled thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Meditate on your troubles, Obi-Wan. Only the force has the true answers of where and who we must be.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Qui-Gon sagely told him that morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, before the coronation ball that required them for their final acts of service in regards to the Duchess, which was purely for show of gratitude more than anything, Obi-Wan spent several hours cross-legged and giving himself over to the serene flow of the force. During which, he felt as though he was in a spiritual tug of war. He could feel the weight of this crossroad and the effect it could have on the galaxy as a whole.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was not so narcissistic to believe that the most fantastical events revolved around his choices, but he did understand that even the smallest of moments could hinder or transform a sequence of events. He sensed the potential of great purpose, of course, which was a Jedi’s truest call to action. While vague, it was obvious he would do much good in the galaxy as a Jedi, even if the overall emotion he sensed down that path was… Loss. However, there was also balance in that loss. Yes, the force sung with rightness when he leaned in this direction, promising a difficult life, but an influential and worthy one. It was a lot for one young padawan to take in all at once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he considered his second choice, he was surprised to find the same importance of duty as his Jedi path. He supposed this made sense, given should he be offered a stay on Mandalore, he would likely assist in rebuilding and strengthening their people. And yet, despite a localized sector, it seemed this good would be useful for more than just Mandalore and would outstretch to a galaxy of influence. Warmth flowed through him as he felt rather than saw, a montage of possibilities: peace, prosperity and… Children? He tried not to linger too long on them, but the image of Satine holding a baby in her arms flickered across his mind’s eye before he could even try and stop it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would forge a family should he stay. With Satine. Such possibilities held so much curiosity and wonder for him, for someone who never even blinked at the concept of parenthood before, that he briefly had to consider if he would be capable of such a task. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet, while overwhelming, he knew he would give his soul for them. They didn’t have names, faces, or heartbeats yet, but he understood in his bones that he would gladly give himself over entirely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d exhaled deeply, determined not to let emotion guide his choice, and centered himself to align with what the force believed of such a path. To his shock, a wave of calm and peace flushed through him at once, giving off the belief that yes, this path was also correct. He would and could do good on Mandalore, beyond self-serving desires such as pursuing love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which meant, it was simply up to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the time, Obi-Wan had scowled, resigned to the realization that this decision had not been made for him, before fluttering his eyes open to see none other than Satine staring down at him. He had been flustered, of course, having not heard her come in, and had instantly scrambled to his feet to meet her.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I just came to inquire if you needed anything to wear for tonight,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>She asked, even if they both knew she could have sent a servant to do so, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I managed to convince Qui-Gon to dress up, so if you choose not to, you will stick out.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What’s wrong with my robes?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He’d taken the bait as he always did.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Would you like me to exclude mention of the blaster fire burns? I feel that might be too much of a low hanging fruit, if you ask me.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This ignited a brief argument between the two of them that inevitably led to Obi-Wan giving in to whatever ensemble she’d surely already had picked out and Satine smiling broadly at his verbal defeat in a way that made his heart feel it might burst. She’d kissed him on the cheek then, swiftly but expertly, as she’d done so for the past couple of months, and then left him reeling on his own yet again with a terrifying thought for a Jedi.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I would leave for you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Or, it should have been terrifying. The fact of the matter, was Obi-Wan only felt peace at the idea. He would say yes if she wanted him. It would be hard saying goodbye to his life as he knew it, but despite having only known her for a year, that same aching pull reflected in the thought of leaving her. And as the morning sun rose higher into the sky, dangerously approaching its peak, Obi-Wan felt that crossroad thrust upon him as he realized time was running out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were due to leave today. The council had commed Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon regarding an uprising in the mid rim that could benefit from Jedi mediation. When Qui-Gon announced their planned departure to Satine, she hadn’t so much as flinched, but did insist on seeing them off to part them with a proper Mandalorian farewell tribute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he regarded their discarded clothes on the floor, a small part of him resisted the idea of making a snarky comment on how other systems could truly start bidding goodbyes like Mandalorians. However, he was stopped at the thought that this might truly be goodbye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took in all of the details of her face for good measure- her smooth alabaster skin with pink undertones near her cheeks, the straight slope of her nose, thin pink lips drawn into a slight pout in sleep. Behind closed eyes he could picture visions of blue sea glass staring back at him with an intensity that would scare a weaker man back into space, but only strengthened Obi-Wan captivation with the Duchess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if she could sense she was being watched, Satine stirred slightly and peaked one eye open to test out the brightness of the room. Upon seeing him first, she nuzzled his chest and closed her eyes again, making a soft sound in the back of her throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning.” He said against her hair. He’d be a liar to say he didn’t relish in how sweetly she smelled like lilies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do I get the feeling you didn’t sleep?” She mused sleepily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t, but even after falling into bed with her and having several hours afterwards to ruminate on his life going forward, Obi-Wan was not tired. If anything, he’d never been more alert. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not wanting to put a damper on her day so early, he merely shrugged, “Need I remind you that I’m a Jedi and we don’t require the same amount of sleep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A half-truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Last I checked, you were a </span>
  <em>
    <span>padawan</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She still hadn’t opened her eyes fully, but tapped her fingers across his chest, “Much left to learn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” He ran a hand up her spine, relishing in the shiver she tried to suppress, “I don’t recall you complaining much last night about my learning level.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She snorted, but he could feel the flutter of her heart and she snuggled closer, “I didn’t say you weren’t a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fast</span>
  </em>
  <span> learner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed, because she was never without a retort to one of his own rebukes, but couldn’t help noticing how painfully normal this warm scene felt. Satine felt it too, because he could sense her still beneath him, sudden melancholy and longing filling her heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She answered this growing sadness with a kiss- infused with as many feelings as she could express without words and he responded in kind and deepened the embrace. Despite the calm that had infused him with his careful consideration over the future, emotions bubbled and boiled to the surface- threatening to make their way to surface if not for the way Satine expertly kept his tongue quite busy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only the hard knock at her large double doors that broke them apart accompanied by the announcement that the Jedi would be departing within the hour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reality could be delayed no longer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed it didn’t matter how many katas he practiced or how many walls he jumped, no exercise would prepare him properly for the act of kissing Satine. He wouldn’t admit it, but he quite liked that she exhausted him the way she did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Qui-Gon will come looking for me.” Obi-Wan breathed heavily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, me as well.” She admitted without taking her eyes off of his. “Where will you go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haidoral Prime.” He said and leaned back on his forearms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure.” He answered honestly, “Truthfully, Duchess, I’m having a difficult time processing any time lapsing beyond this moment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me neither,” She whispered and fondly tugged on his padawan braid. There was so much conflict in her eyes as she considered him in full, “You saved me, my heroic Jedi knight. Time and time again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart felt like it was plundering in his stomach. So, this would be their goodbye. He was confident they would have another one, under scrutinizing eyes and the masks they wore so well when they weren’t alone with each other. Obi-Wan wasn’t sure how it would fit after a night like the previous one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laced their fingers together and kissed them, “The pleasure was all mine, my dear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the second knock on the door, which was truthfully quite kind for her guards, they forced themselves to crawl out of bed and slip on their clothes. Obi-Wan did the respectful thing and prepared to climb out the window to spare them the lingering stares down the hall from any passerbys. Before he could even step a leg out, Satine grabbed him from the front of his tunics and kissed him again, this time almost pleadingly, and he once again saw that crossroad splitting just before him saying it was now or never. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just then, clearer than ever, he saw crystalline glimpses of his two futures. One, where he was alone and old staring at a horizon with twin suns, a worn frown on his face as he gazed at a small farm with promising hope. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other, he was somehow older than the first, but not alone. He was dancing with a woman, who smelled of lilies and sounded like the sweetest tune he’d ever heard, even while mocking his dance steps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was peace and purpose in both, but he knew just then what </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted and perhaps, that had been the lesson at the core, that so long as he wasn’t rejecting or ignoring the greater purpose for the galaxy, that his own accounts and wants were valid too. So long as he served the force as the higher power that it was, that he could have… Peace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that, he realized she would never ask him to stay, not unprompted, but not because she didn't want him, but because she </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved</span>
  </em>
  <span> him too much to ever do such a thing. He realized then that he loved her too much to make her ask.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t happen to be in the market for a long-term protector, would you?” He asked, trying to inflict his on-brand sense of levity, but could still hear the vulnerability in his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She startled, “What are you saying?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m saying,” He breathed, “I love you and if you’ll have me,” And his heart sped up despite knowing with certainty where her feelings lay, “I would like to stay here with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes widened in nearly comical shock as she stared back at him in disbelief. The longer she didn’t answer, the more he felt himself slowly crumbling apart. He would leave for her, without hesitation, but going back after a blatant rejection would be incredibly difficult for him, especially if he’d somehow misjudged this entire situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But- the Jedi?” She spluttered and leaned back from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her guards knocked a third time, “Duchess-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-Yes, one moment, please.” She answered firmly in a tone she’d practiced over the months to read, </span>
  <em>
    <span>do not bother me again, thank you.</span>
  </em>
  <span> And she turned back to Obi-Wan with doubt and confusion in her eyes, “You’re a Jedi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Padawan.” He corrected, “You’ve certainly pointed that out enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But… Attachments.” She floundered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jedi cannot have attachments.” He shifted in his feet, “And I respect that code, but should I stay, I would not be a Jedi any longer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gaped, “I thought… You have dreams! And hopes! I can’t take you away from those. It would be selfish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And it turns out,” He felt his cheeks reddening, “I can have many different dreams.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obi-Wan, I need you to be logical. I mean, this is a huge decision.” She said adamantly, “One that if I have your order pegged correctly, you cannot go back on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I assure you, it’s a choice that hasn’t been made lightly,” He swallowed, “And one that requires your sole agreement. I will not cross boundaries where I am unwanted. It’s not only against the Jedi way, but simply my way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I want you!” Her voice raised dramatically, echoing a bit off the walls and she paused, glancing back towards the doors where her guards and likely at this point, Qui-Gon, stood. Obi-Wan found he no longer cared for being judged. “I’ve been holding back because I know how much being a Jedi means to you and how much your code means to you. If this is solely about last night-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-It’s about last night and all the other nights before it.” He said, growing heated, “It’s about every night I’ve spent alongside you for the past year- whether it be huddling for warmth in the rain or sleeping back to back in the sweltering heat. Arguing in the middle of an onslaught or kissing wounds in secret. So, I assure you, Duchess, while last night was quite pleasant, it did not put me under a hypnotic spell that would knock me from my senses.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure know how to charm a girl,” She rolled her eyes, “Even in the midst of what is supposed to be a romantic moment, I’m guessing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what other way would you have it, Cyar’ika?” He sighed heavily, “If I could bestow you with a ring, I would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, if anyone is proposing marriage around here, it’s me!” She pointed at herself aggressively in a way that Obi-Wan found equal parts frustrating and extremely attractive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then do it if you so please!” He said and then sagged a bit, “Or please notify me otherwise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
  </em>
  <span>Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Be’ni.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>She said reverently, taking his face in her hands and fixing him with her most loving stare that he used to shy away from but only nuzzled closer to. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The one to whom I belong; the one who belongs to me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t doubt for a minute that this was the derivation of her private nickname for him, though he’d never heard her formally admit it until now. He raised their joint hands and kissed her fingers again, never once breaking eye contact as he did his best to ebb away any of her doubts, to assure her that this was what he wanted, that she was enough for him to walk away from all of it, if she said so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that he’d be happy here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want all of it.” He said resolutely, “And I am prepared to sacrifice what it is necessary to do so. I could never regret you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gasped a little at that and leaned into his touch and in that moment, he didn’t see paths or visions or vague futures, but just her and the warm aura that surrounded her. The confidence, snarkiness, idealism that made up the person he loved dearly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could never regret you either.” Tears were running down her cheeks when she nodded quickly and pressed her forehead to his: </span>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
  </em>
  <span>Stay with me, love me, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Marry me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” He brought his lips to hers, feeling quite emotional himself as the other path that he’d edged towards for so long faded away along with the future it held. He didn’t doubt there would be plenty of horizons to behold with Satine in his arms. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Special shoutout to @GalacticBandaid for always proof-reading and bearing witness to my work! None of my fics would likely see the light of day without your helpful eye.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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